The Real Me

My Beginnings
I was born to a family assailed with financial difficulties that even getting enough to eat was a challenge. My father was a construction worker while my Mother was a salesperson at a retail store.
We were many at home, four sisters and three brothers. Add me to make eight plus my parents making a household of ten. It must have cost our father a little fortune every single day just to feed and clothe us.

As the fifth born, I often felt invisible, as my older and younger siblings seemed to get all the attention. My parents’ love as well as my siblings’ affection for me was, however, unquestionable. I used to envy our eldest brother since he was the one who always got new clothes and shoes. For me, I had to rely on hand-me-downs. My younger siblings were a bit lucky though, since these items would have been worn out by the time it was their turn to get them, forcing my parents to buy new items for them. Hence, this made me a very resentful kid.

My Parents
My Dad, Mr. Martins, appeared gigantic to me when I was a toddler. I thought that he was capable of anything and I would go to him whenever I was bullied or had fights with my elder siblings. He was bald-headed and had a moustache that made him appear mean although he was the kindest person I knew. He would at times play games with us, provided we had not annoyed Mum. I believe I owe my height to him and my good looks to Mum.

On the other hand, Mum was much shorter than dad who stood at six feet. She was a bit plump and had a huge bosom to which she would squeeze us as she comforted us to stop crying after Dad spanked us. It did not matter to her that we had offended her in the first place. Unconditional love was the enduring trait I learnt from her. I nowadays miss her so much.She passed on just one year after Dad succumbed to cancer. I think it was loneliness and grief that killed her.

School Life
Our parents could only afford to take us to a public school owing to our family’s financial status. Having four older siblings at the same school made sure that I never got bullied. Needless to say, I became the protector of my younger siblings when they joined school.
I remember how every morning, Mum would howl us all from our bedrooms and admonish us to prepare quickly before we got late for school. I vividly recall having tea with groundnuts or just bread since we could not afford cereal. Sometimes, we would have black tea when times were hard and milk unavailable.

I never got the luxury of getting a bus ride to school, as I had to walk. The fortunate thing was that our school was a thirty-minutes’ walk from home. Being a poor kid at school was hard. Most of my classmates would talk about the things they had at home or even flaunt the new items they had just been given by their parents.

I had nothing to say or show. Whenever a book or a pen would disappear, I would almost always be the first suspect. I remember my teacher telling me to stop using my lack to terrorize my classmates. The fact that I had never been found in possession of a stolen item did not matter to her.
For what we lacked at home, God blessed us with brains that could grasp what we were taught so well that the Martins’ kids became well known for their good grades. Andrew, my eldest brother excelled in his studies so well that he was given a scholarship to an elite high school and even before he joined college, he was offered a job. We all followed suit and things started looking up for our family.

My Present and Hopes
With Andrew having a job, he assisted our parents and made it easier for us to go through school. All my other elder siblings also passed and proceeded to college. Dad passed on when I was in junior high, only for mum to follow shortly.

I am sure that my parents rested happily knowing that their kids would not continue being in want. I am now in college with the support of my elder siblings, and I intend to do the same for those after me. Poverty taught me humility and the need to work hard. I will instill these attributes into my kids in future if only to honor my parents’ memory.

Surname 2

Surname 1

Critique

Sample paper A provides a general overview of the problem related to obesity and its development. It indicates the most affected regions and nations as the developed and industrialized nations. It also analyses the problem in terms of three disciplines namely biology, education and health education. Sample paper B relates to high gas prices. It cites the high dependence on oil as the reason for high gas prices. It also takes a historical perspective of the problem to indicate when it started. Sample paper C defines artificial intelligence as computer science, biology and psychology defines it. The background part starts with the historical context of the problem, specifies its sample and shows the need for an inclusive definition of artificial intelligence.

Sample paper D identifies three disciplines namely history, criminal justice and political science in its analysis of indigent counsel. It starts by providing the necessary theories, epistemologies and assumptions for these three disciplines to help understand the problem. Upon identifying these attributes, the paper then links them to the problem.

In terms of the adequacy of information, the students should provide all the necessary information that relate to the problem. They should also connect the information with the problem analyzed. Students confuse the reader if they do not observe these two things. All these four students have been able to provide information, but the adequacy varies from one student to the other. Sample paper B seems to have adequate information in relation to high gas prices. It provides the reason for the problem, historical perspective and the way forward. The student did this within two pages and portrayed his competence. Sample paper A equally provides the necessary information that relates to the problem, but it does not connect properly to the children who are the group of interest in the analysis. Both sample papers C and D equally provide the necessary information, but fail to connect the information they provide with the problem properly.

In terms of clarity, sample B is somewhat unclear at the general conclusion part of the background. It starts by indicating the next stage without indicating the other stages probably cited in this part. This part leaves the reader wondering about the other parts referred to by the student. Furthermore, this part does not seem to relate to the background information and it seems unnecessary. Sample paper A fails to draw a succinct relation between obesity and children as the title indicates. It takes a general overview of the problem without narrowing its scope to the problem. Sample paper C does not show clearly the disparity among the three disciplines. It only shows the essence of an integrated approach in defining artificial intelligence. Finally, sample paper D fails to be concise in showing the relationship between the disciplines and their assumptions, epistemologies and theories. This makes the sample paper somewhat unclear.

As a reader, one expects the necessary information to be at the background part of the paper because it is at this part one understands the problem. One also expects the student to illustrate the necessity of the information provided. In other words, the student must convince the reader that the information provided is necessary in understanding the problem. Some of these students have been able to show this successfully while others have not been able to do it successfully. Sample paper B has been able to provide the necessary information for the problem because the reader understands the problem clearly. It also relates to the problem in a historical way. Sample paper A has also been able to do so by providing a historical background of the problem. It indicates why obesity has become a problem today by identifying the historical perception of the problem. It further identifies the perception of the three disciplines in relation to the problem. On the contrary, both sample C and D do not provide adequate information for the problems they identify. As a result, they are somewhat unclear.

There are two types of in-text citation commonly used in APA style. The first one includes page numbers for the books used or paragraphs for the WebPages that do not have page numbers. The second one does not include page numbers or paragraphs for the WebPages. It only includes the surname of the author and year of publication. With regard to these four sample papers, the students seem to observe these standards of APA style. However, there are some issues with the sample paper D because it combines the two in-text citations, which is illegal in APA style. For consistency purposes, the student should stick to one in-text citation style (Neville, 2007, p. 70-71). This is also applicable to sample paper C especially on page 13. On the other hand, students do not observe the APA style at the reference part. First, concerning sample paper D, the title of the references should not be work cited. Instead, it should be references. Work cited is used in MLA style and not in APA style. Second, the title of the books and journals or webpage should be in italics, but some students do not italicize them.

Reference

Neville, C. (2007). The complete guide to referencing and avoiding plagiarism. Maidenhead, New York: Open University Press.